Note: sorry if this seems a bit erratic at times... but you know how these Asylum Challenges can be. ;)
The Supernatural Asylum: Part One
Here we are at the Strangetown Asylum, where the first group of patients are due to arrive soon.
Here comes my selfsim, looking eerily like I do most days around here, with her apron on, her hair up, and her hands in rubber gloves... all ready to clean the floors, scrub the toilets, cook some food, and wipe some asses.
Well, maybe not necessarily in that order. *snort*
Better look out, she means business!
Soon she meets her first patient... Bigfoot... who was dropped off by the local animal control office, and she immediately sets about educating the forest-dweller about indoor living.
Cindy: “See this? See? Look. It’s a toilet. Toy-let.“
“Look, the lid lifts up, see? Look down there. See the water in there? See it? See that water? Well, that’s where you do your business, do you understand?”
"Bigfoot biz... ness?”
Cindy: “Um... pee and poop, got it?”
“Bigfoot pee and poop in water?”
Cindy: “Yes, in this water. Only in this water. Understand?”
Bigfoot: “Yes, Bigfoot pee and poop in only that water.
“In... toy-let.” *Is proud.*
Cindy: “Well, you just remember that, Fuzzy. These floors are clean and I want them to stay that way. Understand?”
“Bigfoot likey you, toy-let lady!”
In due time, the remaining patients arrived at the Asylum and they soon became aware of the nature of their afflictions.
Vidcund: *looks over at Circe* “Hey, we’re both zombies! It must be karma!”
Loki: *Is not amused.*
Pascal: “Aaaaaa! The sun, the sun!”
Cindy: “Pascal, you need to get into your coffin for the day!”
Pascal: “Oh, but... but... I’d rather watch Olive Specter take her clothes off... I mean, uh...”
Cindy: “No. You get in that coffin right now!”
Pascal: “Yes, ma’am."
Vidcund: *pokes General Buzz*
Buzz: “Why you little bastard!”
Loki: *waits turn*
Loki: *pokes Vidcund*
Vidcund: “Why you little bastard!”
Buzz: *waits turn*
Buzz: *pokes Loki*
Loki: “Why you little bastard!”
Vidcund: *waits turn*
Yeah, they kept all that up for quite some time. O_O
Vid: “ I hate you.”
Buzz: “I hate you.”
Loki: “I hate you.”
Geez. And what was Cindy doing during all of this?
Oh, nice. Flirting with Lazlo. Well, that's not surprising.
Note: Lazlo’s aliment is Lycanthropy, if you haven’t already guessed... along with General Buzz.
Although Cindy is the caretaker of the Asylum, she also needs to get an outside job to help with the daily expenses. Rumor also has it that the entire town will be cured of their various afflictions should she somehow be able to attain the status of Celebrity Chef!
Cindy has her doubts about that, but she dutifully finds a job as a dishwasher and gets to work on her cooking skills.
Well, she tries to, anyway.
Cindy: *huffs* “God, I can’t even study around here!”
Wow, Vid. Impressive! Too bad no one seems to care.
Now General... Loki has had a tough day. You should try to be more understanding...
Circe: “Must... watch... fight...”
“All right! Way to kick my husband’s ass! Go, General!”
“Oh my God...” *sniff* “ I really have turned into a... a... pansy!”
Back inside the Asylum, it appears Vidcund has been distracted by all the fighting and has forgotten it takes him three times as long to get to the bathroom these days.
Vidcund: “I can’t believe I just pissed myself.”
Lazlo: “Gross, man... you totally just pissed yourself.”
Bigfoot: “Him no pee in toy-let water. Him baaaad.”
The setting of the sun each evening brings about major changes in the Asylum.
First, Pascal awakens from his daily sleep, complete with thunderous sound effects and clad in grey flannel.
Shortly afterward, the lycanthropes undergo their painful transformations... to the horror of some bystanders, and the excitement of others.
Cindy: “Oh...oh... oh... it looks so painful. Poor Lazlo... I hope he’s all right...”
Pascal: “Yeah! Fucking-A! All right, Laz!”
Lazlo: *looks blankly at Pascal* “When did you get up? And when in the hell did you start saying, ‘Fucking-A’?”
Buzz: *through clenched teeth* “You better stop looking at me, Miracle Gro... before I go find some fucking Roundup.”
Loki: “I guess I’ll go help in the kitchen. Where I can be... *sniff* appreciated...”
Cindy: “Well, dinner’s ready. Where is everybody?”
Bigfoot: “Bigfoot smell yum-yums”
Lazlo: “Damn, I wonder if my ass is that hairy?”
Pascal: *is not having fun*
“Fun! Fun! Bigfoot make fun! Bigfoot fun!”
“Gah! Unhand me! Put me down this instant, you... you stinking, misbegotten half-wit!”
"Uhhhh... bitey-man no like Bigfoot fun?"
General, it's time to eat. What are you doing? Are you making friends and influencing people again?
Yes, I can see that you are. Sigh.
One of these things is not like the others. One of these things just doesn’t belong. Can you tell me which thing is not like the others?
Finally, exhausted from all of the discontent in the house, Cindy heads off to bed.
*sigh* Maybe tomorrow will be better...
After Cindy turned in, Circe decided to make a midnight snack for everyone who was still up. Luckily, she didn’t set the kitchen on fire, but she did come close.
Circe: “This is more burned than I thought it was. I can practically turn the bowl over and it doesn’t move. Fascinating."
Meanwhile, Loki discovers that while the type of midnight snack he needs does burn, it can’t be cooked.
Desperate for the sun’s rays, he runs outside, but passes out on the sidewalk. I wonder if this is going to be a nightly occurrence for him from now on... poor guy.
Hopefully no one will mistake him for trash and haul him away before sunrise!
Morning comes, and some things, at least, get back to normal.
Cindy: *fusses* “Lazlo Curious! Just because you have lycanthropy doesn’t mean you can’t make your own bed. Now you need to learn to be more...”
"Need to learn to... um...
Lazlo: “You were saying?”
Cindy: “Oh... nevermind.”
More to come...