Note: I didn't make these up ;)
1) Pull your goddamned pants up. You look like an idiot.
2) Turn your cap the right way. Your head isn't on crooked.
3) Let's get this straight; it's called a DIRT ROAD. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Lexus. So just drive it or get out of my way.
4) They are cattle. They are what steaks look like before they DIE. And yes, before steaks DIE they SHIT. Don't like it? 1-80 goes east and west, I-35 goes north and south. Pick one.
5) Yes, every person in the country waves. It's called being friendly. Get over it.
6) If you want to eat sushi and caviar around here, it's available at Jim's Live Bait and Tackle.
7) If you bring "coke" into my house, it better be wet, brown, and served over ice.
8) Aw, you have a $60,000 car. That's nice. We have a $200,000 combine that we drive only 3 weeks a year.
Hee hee hee hee hee. I had to giggle at "what steaks look like before they DIE." So crass but so true, lol!